Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Well, Here I Am Again

It's the middle of the night.  And I'm awake.  Again. 

My brain just won't stop.  I sense something coming down the road.  And the road is short.  Very short.  And I'm afraid.  Very afraid.

I don't like change.  It ruffles my feathers and makes me uncomfortable and unsure.  And I like to be comfortable.  I like to be sure.  I guess I'll just have to get my assurance from the One who commands it.  Ha.  Sounds simple. 

I confess, I'm not ready for this thing that is coming down the short road.  In fact, I'm digging in my heels, hoping to slow things down and make the road seem longer. 

I've been part of a small Bible study group for the past few weeks.  The study has really focused in on one particular issue, seemingly having nothing to do with trusting God and life change and all the stuff I'm talking about here.  Last night's study, though, was a bit painful.  Because the main point was challenging us to make a courageous choice.  To be a courageous woman.  And with all my might I cry out "BUT I'M SO AFRAID!"

Father, I am so afraid.  I'm on my knees, not asking you to take this thing away, but asking you to take away my fear.  I want to be a courageous woman.  Courageous for you.  For my family.  For me.  But the "what IFs" terrify me.  Please, Lord, wrap me up in your marvelous arms, and whisper that it's all gonna be okay.  And then, help me to believe you.

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