Why is it, do you think, that we hide things?
Why do I hide my obnoxious laugh from the whole of society? Why do I try to hide my character flaws from those closest to me? Why don't I just lay all those things out for all to see?
Fear of judgment, I suppose.
So I hide my warts. My weaknesses. My sinfulness. I try to hide my sinfulness from the One who created me. From the One who knows my inmost thoughts, whether good or ill. From the One whose job it is to ultimately judge me. But why am I afraid of His judgment? I'm covered by Christ. Praise God, I'm saved by the blood of Christ. I'm a child of God!
The chorus of a song by Martin Nystrom says, "Here is my heart, Lord, I lay it open. Search every corner, cleanse every part. Here is my heart, Lord, yielded and broken. Merciful Lord, come and restore. Here is my heart."
I want to want this. This attitude. Emptying myself of me, and wanting the Lord to come in and make me whole. Wholly His.
Father God, forgive me for always failing you. For being so set on my own way. For ignoring your tugs at my heart. For keeping blinders on to my sins and to my state of utter brokenness. Lord, I want to want you more. I want a passion for you and your will in my heart and life. Please help me to take off these things that are just weighing me down, and hand them over to you. Please help me to trust that you are the only shelter my heart needs. Help me come to you for comfort instead of burying my hurts deep within. And forgive me for not asking these things years ago.