I hurt someone very dear to me. It wasn't intentional. It wasn't malicious. It wasn't premeditated.
It was clumsy, and possibly ill-conceived. It probably shouldn't have been said at all. The dear one and I haven't spoken since.
So, I'm living with guilt and sadness over hurting this dear friend. And while I'm so very sorry for the hurt I've caused, for the things I said, I cannot help but wonder why guilt holds such power over me in my life.
I do or don't do things based on the level of guilt I know I will feel for doing or not doing said things. Or, if I don't do what I know I should do, then I really get rough on myself, emotionally speaking, and that only perpetuates the cycle of guilt. I believe that God has given us a conscience to serve as our guide when we don't necessarily know what is right or wrong.
I thought I was right. Now I think I was wrong. And I'm living with guilt over it all.